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Tricia Harragin

Telephone: 01453 757848

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"For one human being to love another: that is perhaps the most difficult of all our tasks, the ultimate, the last test and proof, the work for which all other work is but preparation."
Rainer Maria Rilke "Letters to a Young Poet"

 


Nearly all of us begin a new relationship in a state of attraction and full of hope.  This desire for love and union is a potent archetypal energy field.  In fact we often dream of this magical connection with the other.  It is what our soul longs for.  

Yet, in reality, relationships are challenging and all couples have difficulties at times.   Tricky obstacles occur in many guises.  They include envy, jealousy, lack of communication, conflict, betrayal, high expectation and life changes.  Conversations about children are also a topic that some couples find useful to explore in their counselling.

If your relationship is in trouble or needs some care couple counseling could be helpful.  Motives for coming along vary from couple to couple.  As a couple you bring along what is bothering you.  Couple counseling allows both partners to be heard.  It can be a neutral place where you can both express what is happening, including the hurt and anger, between you.

Frequently a starting place is feelings of frustration, disappointment and blame.  These reactions all assist in trying to push an issue away.  Couple counseling can help you to face and engage with what is going on.  It can be possible to move to a place where you are looking at what the issue is revealing in the dynamic between you.  

As part of the process of listening to the relationship we would look at disentangling patterns and beliefs about relationship that have been internalized from your past.  Working together it is also possible to look at how you communicate both on a conscious and unconscious level.  This all helps pay attention to hidden bonding patterns.  We all have these and it can be very useful to take time to see how they are having an impact on our relationships.  

There are also the wider influences that may effect your relationship.  Some things obviously cannot be resolved.   All relationships involve difference.  How do you negotiate this?  

Time and support is also given to honour what the relationship has been through and to nurture it as a separate entity.

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